I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
