normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
