so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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