im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
