I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
