I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
