my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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