i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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