A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize