my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
