hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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