So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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