i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
