You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
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full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
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I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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