..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
