I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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