You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
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I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
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