Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
