In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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