i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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