i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
