Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize