you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
