I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Randomize
