Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
