So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
