Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize