it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
