More tranny stories later!
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
