I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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