Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
