How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
