Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
