I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize