im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
