you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
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I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize