I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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