yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
