Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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