So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
