i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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