More tranny stories later!
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize