i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
