so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
