Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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