I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
