I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
there's paper in my vomit.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
this hospital has no fireball
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Randomize
