have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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