But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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