I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Randomize
