Banned from zoo.
Again?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
