at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
