Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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