found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
