i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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