I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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