on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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