so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
