Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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