Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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