I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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