first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
how drunk are you?
Several
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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