Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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