This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
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