Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
