I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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