we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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