now i know why i became what i already was.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
