He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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